|Even though I consider myself an Ocean Girl, I do love being in the mountains!|
Since I am so good at stressing out, you can imagine that I am putting myself through some serious what if? scenarios. At the drop of a hat I can burst into tears. I have worked so hard at going back to school to get to the next level in my career and I certainly don't want to make a decision based on a new relationship. But.... I also would be lying if I didn't say that this relationship just feels different than most. I have been single a long time and dated a lot. I am not saying that this IT, but I do know this is someone very special and I do want to see where it could go. And while I have ambitious career goals, I also have ambitious goals for my personal life which honestly, was put on hold for a long time because I was chasing after my career.
Now I am at a crossroads and I am not sure what to do? Beau said that he was "in" on the long distance thing if it were to happen which of course is a relief but even outside of him, I just don't want to move. As a kid I moved 7 times before graduating from high school and since then I have moved another 4 times. This place truly feels like it could be home - with or without the boy.
I already turned down an amazing offer in Nashville because the job didn't feel right. And I worry now that if I turn this one down too, how many more great offers are really out there for me to hold out for? A friend of mine suggested that I just count my blessings and move forward with the job and see where life takes me. And perhaps she is right. I don't want to sound ungrateful but at the same time, I really want to find something that totally excites me.
So that is where I am in life right now. I've been very lucky in my job search and trust me, I know that most of my classmates are struggling with finding job. But even still, it doesn't make these life decisions easier. I will keep you posted!
And in closing, here is one of my favorite poems by Robert Frost:
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.