Nope, this isn't a book review... rather this post is to fill y'all in on what's been going on around here for last 6 weeks or so...
Ever since school started I have been a ball of stress [if you have been reading this post since August then you know!]. The first month was more about getting adjusted to a new schedule, new town and basically a new life. Once that kind of settled down, work at school started to ramp up. While all of my classes are tough, it has really been my economics class that has been causing major angst in my life. Every Thursday we have a quiz and then three weeks ago we had our first exam. While I hate to even admit this, I failed it. Like, for real. I have never failed anything in my life - much less gotten less than a B. I have basically always been a straight A student so when I failed this test it was like my world came crashing down. I know there are real problems in the world and in the grand scheme of things this is rather insignificant but in my little world, right now, it's important.
The last three weeks I have been trying to figure out what my options are and what I should do. I have been going back and forth on whether I should stay in the class or if I should drop it. The fact that I was raised to never be a quitter didn't make this an easy decision.
Then I spoke with my aunt and she gave me some sensible perspective. Deciding to go back to school full-time was a big decision. Part of going to school full-time was to enjoy it and have fun. Ever since school started I haven't had a whole lot of fun. Because I had planned on getting it done in 12 months I have basically been in completion mode. I have spent more time focusing on getting things done than actually learning anything. There have also been lots of school and non-school related events and opportunities that I have missed because I have been so busy with school work.
Last week I decided that regardless of what I did about my econ class I was going to push out my graduation date to December (instead of August). That frees up my schedule a little bit and gives me more time to embrace being back in school and enjoy this time - because next December will be here before I know it and then its back to corporate America and working my life away for the next 30-something years!
That brings me to this week. Tomorrow is the last day I can drop a class. I met with my professor after class today and he really seemed indifferent about whether I stayed in or not (3 people have already dropped). I think if he had seemed more encouraging about staying in the class I would have stuck it out. But... I am not. I have decided to drop. I don't know if it is the right thing to do - maybe I would have gotten a B [required in grad school] but if I didn't I would be re-taking it again and that lower grade would still reflected in my GPA.
Now I hope life will be a little better - I already feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. I want to say a special thank you my aunt, mom, Jenn, Katie, Thomas, Smith and Rachel - thank you for listening, for your advice and encouragement - sorry for all the tears and meltdowns... y'all are the best!