Monday, November 30, 2015

Two Roads Diverged in a Yellow Wood...

Hey y'all! How was everyone's Thanksgiving?! Mine was great! I stayed in town because this week is basically hell week at school. Finals are not supposed to be until week, however, two of my professors decided to move up our exams a week and I have a presentation.... ahhh! Buuuut since I was in town, I did receive an invitation to have Thanksgiving dinner with Beau's family at their mountain house in North Carolina. I will be honest, I was a little nervous about meeting them but they were all so nice! I loved his sister and sister-in-law, I told Beau when we left that I would totally want to be their friends in real life. His mom was super sweet and made me a birthday cake which was so thoughtful.

Even though I consider myself an Ocean Girl, I do love being in the mountains!
The day before Thanksgiving I got a call from a company that I had recently interviewed with that I got a job. It's a great position, great opportunity and the salary I was hoping to get post-MBA school but the catch (there is always a catch!) is that it is not in South Carolina. My excitement about the offer was quickly overshadowed by the idea that I would have to move, again. My move to South Carolina was very intentional - I have been targeting moving here since 2009. It just took me 5 years and a detour through Dallas to get here! I have absolutely loved living here since day one. The mountains are literally 15 minutes my house, downtown is the most picturesque and darling place you have ever seen (seriously!) and Charleston/beach is 3 hours away. Then on top of that I meet this amazing guy and BAM! I may be leaving.

Since I am so good at stressing out, you can imagine that I am putting myself through some serious what if? scenarios. At the drop of a hat I can burst into tears. I have worked so hard at going back to school to get to the next level in my career and I certainly don't want to make a decision based on a new relationship. But.... I also would be lying if I didn't say that this relationship just feels different than most. I have been single a long time and dated a lot. I am not saying that this IT, but I do know this is someone very special and I do want to see where it could go. And while I have ambitious career goals, I also have ambitious goals for my personal life which honestly, was put on hold for a long time because I was chasing after my career.

Now I am at a crossroads and I am not sure what to do? Beau said that he was "in" on the long distance thing if it were to happen which of course is a relief but even outside of him, I just don't want to move. As a kid I moved 7 times before graduating from high school and since then I have moved another 4 times. This place truly feels like it could be home - with or without the boy.

I already turned down an amazing offer in Nashville because the job didn't feel right. And I worry now that if I turn this one down too, how many more great offers are really out there for me to hold out for? A friend of mine suggested that I just count my blessings and move forward with the job and see where life takes me. And perhaps she is right. I don't want to sound ungrateful but at the same time, I really want to find something that totally excites me.

So that is where I am in life right now. I've been very lucky in my job search and trust me, I know that most of my classmates are struggling with finding job. But even still, it doesn't make these life decisions easier. I will keep you posted!

And in closing, here is one of my favorite poems by Robert Frost:

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.